I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
