Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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