You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
