i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
