This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
