he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
