put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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