Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
