So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
