She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
