Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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