We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
