No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
