you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
