Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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