lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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