I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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