I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
