So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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