Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
