I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize