i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
