Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
