I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
