you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we're so committed to being not committed
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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