The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
