So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize