Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
