There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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