I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
