I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
