At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
