I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
