This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
