Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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