Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
