it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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