She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And then my night got REAL pukey
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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