Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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