I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
