just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
