You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
