we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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