I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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