So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
