so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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