i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
