So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
