I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I love you. Go after that dick
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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