You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
