glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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