Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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