I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
