gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
